It’s not about you.

Sweet Friends,

I’m posting TWO times in ONE week! What is happening?!

I know…I’m not sure either…but here I am!

God has laid something on my heart, and I just feel like it needs to be shared.

>>Before I start this post, I feel the need to tell you that I have always been a very brutally honest person. I’m going to tell you the truth even if it may not be the most comfortable thing to hear. <<

Here we go…again…


Church has always been a very important part of my life. I grew up going to church with my family, and, now, church is a top priority for me and Aaron. We want Thomas to grow up loving church and knowing just how important it is.

I love my church.

I love worshipping with fellow believers. I love digging into God’s Word and learning something new. I love being involved with the praise team and leading worship.

I love my church.

I look forward to going every single week.


When you have a parent, friend, spouse, grandparent, sibling, child, etc. in ministry, you see a whole other side of church. Majority of the time, people are good. They are intentional in loving on and supporting church ministers and leaders even when they do not agree with everything the ministers and leaders are doing. They trust their leaders because they believe God has called them to lead. They trust that those who have been called by the Lord to be in a position of leadership are seeking His face and truly following what He has called them to do. This is the way it’s supposed to be.

Then, there are those who do not support what the pastors and leaders are doing, and they make that evidently clear. They do not act differently to other church members, and, odds are, people wouldn’t ever guess that this person could be so negative. These people allow themselves to be so distracted by what bothers them that they’re unable to focus on what’s important when they come to church. They do not make any effort to love on their leaders because they are so blinded by their personal agenda. This is how churches end up in trouble.


My parents taught me several things growing up. One thing they taught me is something that, I’m realizing, not everyone learns in their homes. This lesson is one that everyone should learn regardless of what differences we may have. My parents taught me this one thing and it has made all the difference in my mindset toward situations and people. It has made me and my siblings more mature. It’s the simple phrase:


I see so many people getting torn up over things that don’t matter. These small things continue to eat at them until they can’t take it anymore. The source is selfishness.


How does this lesson connect with what I was referencing before? Just think with me for a minute. Church conflicts are rarely over major decisions that are being made.

“I don’t like that the pastor doesn’t wear a suit and tie on Sunday mornings.”

“Why didn’t we get to vote on the color of the new carpet?”

“He really shouldn’t preach that long.”

“We shouldn’t be singing those contemporary worship songs. They’re empty; hymns are better.”

“The music was too loud today.”

“Preacher needs to trim his beard. It’s getting too long.”

“The pastor’s using his iPad instead of his Bible. Do we really trust what he’s teaching?”

How much easier could we make it for Satan to distract us from what’s important? We’re allowing things like what the pastor wears or what song the praise team sings in worship to distract us from what God has to say. What’s even worse is that we continue to let him distract us because we decide to act on our selfishness by putting down our church leaders.


This is the phrase that runs through my head when Satan tries to point out the little things that could easily distract or upset me.


I can’t help but think that if more people knew this, they wouldn’t be so upset when they come to church. I’ve always been able to enjoy church. It’s my pep rally before I start my week. It’s my reminder that I have a job to do when I’m with other people. For some, I’m the only picture of Jesus they’ll see. My parents used to tell me that I’m Jesus with skin on. That’s a big responsibility.

Let me tell you something–If you are consistently bothered by things going on in your church…If you do not support ALL of your pastors and leaders…If you are constantly trying to put people against the leaders in your church…If you are gossiping and stirring the pot…THEN YOU ARE NOT DOING YOUR JOB.

You may be able to put up the biggest, strongest front for the people around you, but even the most realistic front won’t fool God.

Being a pastor/leader/director in a church is hard work, and it can be so easy for these people to get burnt out.

As a church it should be our mission to encourage, uplift, pick up, pray for, serve with, etc., our church leaders. They need us just as much as we need them.

“…a chord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

Yes, I realize this is usually a verse used to reference a marital relationship, but look at it this way:

Chord 1- God

Chord 2- Church leaders/directors/pastors

Chord 3- Church

The world is a dark enough place on its own. We, as followers of Christ, are called to be the light. How can we be the light if we are consistently putting our own down? Our job is to seek out the lost and show them the unconditional love that Jesus shows us.

If we’re acting like children because we didn’t get our way in our church, then we are NOT seeking out those who need Jesus, and we’re DEFINITELY NOT acting like Jesus.

Christians- It’s time to grow up.

Next time you look at the pastor and get upset because he may not be wearing a tie, remember: 


Next time the praise team plays that one song you don’t like, remember:


Next time you get upset because the carpet in that Sunday School room isn’t the color you chose, remember:


Next time the church doesn’t do that one mission trip you loved, remember:


We have far more important things to do in this world than fighting with each other over the little, insignificant things that don’t really matter.


3 thoughts on “It’s not about you.

  1. Great insight into the church family. Mirror of some of the things that were going on in the early church. Your right we should put God and the gospel first,and love those that disagree. Keep God first !


  2. This was a very well-written and on point blog. Thank you. I will share this with friends. We all need to read this. Thank you


  3. Max Lucado wrote a good book on this subject. It showed the relationship between us and God and that relationship is a witness to others.


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