Hello, Sweet Friends,
I’m back already because I had a little bit of free time, and I decided to take advantage of it.
***PSA- This blog is probably going to be very sporadic…new mom…work…school…laziness…Organized Mass Chaos (Ha!)…
Ya know, the usual.***
It’s important to know these things because I am a planner, but, as much as I am going to try to plan when to post, sometimes it’s just not gonna happen.
When I entered into this new phase of life (being a wife and a mama), I began to understand certain things that my parents taught me when I was growing up. I thought I understood some of these things when I was younger, but, honestly, there was no way for me to fully wrap my mind around it until I was thrown into these circumstances.
As believers, we are called to love, right? We are called to love regardless of personal vendettas or beliefs. Is this always easy? Of course not, but, in order to be like Jesus, we have to love.
Did you know there’s an order to who you are supposed to love most?
Well, there is.
My parents painted, and still continue to paint, a beautiful picture of what love is between a husband and a wife.
This love is unconditional.
It’s absolutely freely given.
The love between my parents is consistently growing…even when things aren’t easy.
None of this is to say they’ve had a perfect marriage. I don’t think they want anyone to think that in the slightest, but I know they want people to know why their marriage has worked and will continue to work.
The number one reason their marriage continues to work is because they are both consistently chasing the Lord.
One of the things I remember most about growing up was how important spending time with God was to both Mom and Dad. I would get up for school in the morning, and my mom would be sitting in one of the red chairs at the end of her bed or in the dining room, doors closed, with a cup of coffee focused on what she was studying that day. Dad did his Bible study at work prior to beginning his workday (I know this because, when I got sick, I got to go lay in Daddy’s office on his couch…sometimes…when mom was busy.).
The fact that they both designated a specific time each day to spend with the Lord…even before they really spent time with each other…showed me how important my relationship with the Lord would be when it comes to my marriage.
In order to grow closer to my husband, I have to grow closer to the Lord.
My parents, also, continuously showed unconditional love for me and my siblings. This love is completely different from the love they have for each other… and guess what…this love isn’t equal either.
I will never forget the day my dad had the audacity to say he loved my mom more than he loved me (…and my siblings…) from the pulpit. Was I aware of this? Nope.
As a believer, there’s an order as to who I am supposed to love. Of course, God comes first (that’s a given), but directly following God is people. It’s important to separate people slightly. For example, I am not going to love others more than I love my husband and my son, and I am not going to love my son more than I love my husband (***gasp***). The beauty in this is that, as long as I love God to the best of my ability, no one is going to know they are loved any less. If I am loving God as I should, then I am loving people as I should.
If I love Jesus most, then I’m going to be a better wife, a better mom, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, etc.
As long as I keep Jesus first in my life, Thomas is never going to know that I love his dad more because I am loving him to the best of my ability.
I see so many couples who get married, have children, raise their children, then the couple separates.
Why does this happen?
Because they are not loving Christ to the best of their ability. The order got mixed up.
Guys—-as a family unit, we have to work to keep Jesus in the center of everything.
How do we do this? Well, each person has to do their part, but one person has the most important job of keeping the family centered.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Men, GODLY MEN, stand up. Wives are called to submit to you as they would to the Lord. That’s A LOT of trust we have to put in you! We are called to trust your leadership, discernment, and decisions concerning our family. Stand up.
Godly women are looking for a man who:
- LOVES God and loves His Word
- Understands his calling to love his wife as Christ loves His church
- Isn’t afraid to defend his faith
- Seeks out and loves the lost
Despite what this world tells you, being a man isn’t about how much weight you can throw around at the gym. It’s not about what you wear or how you look. It’s not about how much money you make a year or your college degree. It’s about how you love the Lord.
It’s time for men to start being men and leading their families again.
Women– Just because we are called to submit doesn’t mean we just get to lie down and relax while our husbands carry all the weight. Yes, men were designed to be the leader of the home, but we are important in our homes as well.
Wives-support your husbands. While the husband is clearly the head of the home, wives are the neck. Your neck continuously supports your head. It holds the head up (even when its tired) and helps it do its job.
In a society where men are continuously being put down and discouraged, be the wife that encourages and supports her husband at all times. Let him lead (even when it’s hard). Pray for his wisdom and discernment. Pray that he is confident and consistent. Pray that he is encouraged and knows he’s loved. Pray for your him…even if you don’t know who he is…pray for your husband.
Parents-be intentional in leading your children to chase the Lord.
Be a good role model. Be aware that your children are watching your every move. They are learning from what you do. When you do or don’t study your Bible, your kids see. When you make church a priority or you just go on holidays, your kids notice. When you do not love your husband or wife as you should, your kids know. Chase the Lord with all you have, parents, and your kids are, more than likely, going to be running right beside you.
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20
We are raising our children to leave.
As hard as that is to say with a 3 (almost 4) month old at home, I know that we are raising him to leave. In this process, I pray that Aaron and I raise him to have respect for other’s beliefs (even if we don’t agree with them) and to love people even if we do not agree with their lifestyle. I pray that Aaron and I raise him to be independent. I pray that Aaron and I set a great example of what a godly marriage should look like. I pray that Aaron and I raise him to love the Lord with all he has. We are going work to do this by walking in obedience to what God calls us to do as a husband and wife and mom and dad. I’m going to support my husband and let him lead our lives. Aaron is going to be the spiritual leader in our home. He is going to work to give Thomas the best example of a godly husband and dad that he can. We are going to pray consistently, spend time in God’s Word, and work to be in the center of His will for our family.
That’s my ramble for today! Thanks for reading, friends.